Yesterday, my master went to a college graduation ceremony. He left me in the kennel all day with Elsa. I thought, “What on Earth did I do wrong?” I bet there were hundreds of people at that graduation. Imagine me, running down the aisle– I could have been the start of the show! Silly humans, ask for a celebration and then leave me at home!
I’ve got to be one of the most celebrated dogs around, don’t you think? Everyone that meets me is impressed right off the bat. They see I only have three legs, and then they expect me to waddle like a duck on prozac or something like that. So, I come busting up to them and stamp them right in the middle of the gut with one muddy paw print. That’s my signature.
And, I suppose, by the power vested in me by the Kennel Club of Gasland, that’s the only seal of approval I can offer. Your certification is pending successful completion of all credit requirements. Learn not to under-estimate us underdogs: even though we might not look it, we’re smart enough to check the weather and come in out of the rain.